Sick but Recovering

OWE MORE THAN I CAN PAY

It all started about a week and a half earlier. COPD and heart problems my health often plunges quickly. On a Thursday evening symptoms began. No question in my mind trouble was coming. Why? I have a history. Rather than doing anything about it, I chose to wait it out and hope. Just one of my less intelligent moves.

Could not attend church Sunday. Let my brother know I was sick and on Monday he got an appointment for noon at my doctor. Doctor called and ambulance which took me to Butterworth hospital. They decided to admit me but was short on rooms. They called an ambulance and sent me to Blodget hospital.

In thinking back I was completely disoriented. At 3:00pm in the afternoon I was upset because I was sure it was 3:00am.

Later that evening a male nurse came in and pulled up a chair. Told me that he needed to have a conversation with me and it would take about 15 minutes. Began by asking me if my heart stopped do I want resuscitated. I told him absolutely not. After all  I’m going on 74 years of age and DO NOT want to be a burden. He then asked was religion I was. Told him Christian and he asked if I wished to have any religious rights performed. I said no.

The good thing about it, I did not say what I was really thinking. For keeping my mouth shut once I was very proud of myself. Often I get in trouble with my big mouth. I wanted to say, “Yea, tell the Pope to kiss my backside and if he sticks his toe out for me to kiss it like he does to so many, we’ll have the first toe-less Pope in the history of the catholic church.” But I kept my big mouth shut.

I owe my brother much and owe more than I can pay. If he would not have taken me to the doctor I am not sure if I would have even had the wherewithal to call an EMS rescue.

Then my younger son came upon my release from the hospital and drove me across State to stay with my daughter. My daughter is like none other.

It was Christmas weekend. My daughter is taking care of me. Her Mother came for a couple of days and fell down a couple of steps and had to be helped, after spraining her ankle, to move from place to place. My daughters husband had his parents over. My younger son and family was there. All five grandkids home plus my daughters husband and dog. In watching my daughter she was pure grace with a smile. Fixed some of the best meals I have ever had. If my daughter thought I had a want she responded. I’m thinking about calling Donald Trump and tell him if he wants the best chief of staff in America he should hire my daughter. One thing for sure, I owe her more than I can pay.

In being honest with myself that has often been the story of my life. Owing more that I can pay.

I can’t carry a tune. However when no one is around I sing. The last few days I have sung the song, out loud, “How Great thou Art.” When I get to the 3rd verse I mostly can’t sing it. Not because of my poor singing ability but because of the words:

And when I think that God, His Son not sparing,

Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,

He bled and died to take away my sin.

Why God would extend His mercy to me and forgive me, I have no idea. Truly I can scarce take it in.

Owe more than I can pay is me. More later as I recall…….

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